


in the wolf's mouth

by smoll_jane



Series: gun powder [2]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gang World, Blood, Enemies to Lovers, Gun Violence, M/M, Violence, major deaths, murders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:42:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23719162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smoll_jane/pseuds/smoll_jane
Summary: "I forbid you to cry. Don't you dare cry for us Yoon Jeonghan."
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan, Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, Mentions of other relationship - Relationship
Series: gun powder [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1708342
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	in the wolf's mouth

**Author's Note:**

> I never thought I'd write a sequel to "watching you", but seems like inspiration decided otherwise ! Please, read the first part before this one, or else you wouldn't understand. Enjoy your reading ! (and also forgive me for what you'll read, I kind of already hate myself for writing that)

"Long time no see Jeonghan."

Everything is blurred. The light is dazzling and his head thumping. Jeonghan opens an eye, two. There isn't anyone in this all-white room. What happened ? Where is he ? Whose voice is it ? He knows it. He swears he knows it, it is so familiar it makes his spine shiver. He looks down. His hands are tied, there's blood on them. So much blood.

"Unless you've changed your name just like you've changed sides."

A flash. It's not his blood. Seokmin. Lying in a crimson puddle. There's a sound, almost inaudible, escaping his mouth drowning in blood. Jeonghan falls on his knees, presses on the gigantic hole in Seokmin's chest. He can't understand what he is saying. Everything spins around, Seokmin is cold, the blood stinks. He got used to the smell of blood with the years, but this one's smell is unbearable. He feels life leaving Seokmin.

And then, he hears the screams. All around, so much screams. And the shots.

"How long has it been ? Four years ?"

Jeonghan comes back to the present, hands shaking, chest lifting quickly. He knows this voice, he knows it but why can't he recall ? Why can't he put a name, a face on it ?

A door he didn't even see opens. Someone enters. Oh. It's _his_ voice.

"Chan", the sound his voice makes is pathetic.

Chan chuckles, the sound raw and cold. He smiles. He changed in all these years.

"What have you done Chan ?" He hates it. The tremors in his throat, the weakness of his voice. Chan laughs. When he raises a hand to bring it to his heart, his sleeve slides down and his arm is covered with tattoos. When he's done laughing, he bends over and Jeonghan sees his eyes. He sees the blood in them, gun powder and hate.

Another flash. He stands up when he understands Seokmin is dead. His hands are shaking, blood dripping on the corpse from his fingertips. There's no one around but he hears the screams and the shots. Everything spins. He has to find him. He leaves the room, he leaves Seokmin behind and runs through all the building, opens every door, crosses every corridor. He never gets closer to the screams nor the shots. But he starts smelling it. The fire. Gnawing walls and carpets. And he finally reaches the third floor and everything gets clearer. He yells, he calls Jisoo's name, vainly, desperately. Down a corridor, Minghao is lying on the floor face first, his hand relaxed on a knife. Jeonghan tries to kneel down but before his body allows himself to, he sees the blood all around Minghao's head, and most of all ; he hears. Jisoo's voice.

Chan hits him in the jaw. Jeonghan spits blood on the floor. His eyes hurt.

"Why did you kill them? Why?!" Seems like anger is coming. The more he remembers, the more anger allows itself a place in him.

Chan catches his chin. He changed. He changed so much. When he was still on the other side, Chan was just a kid they taught how to drive. He wasn't supposed to get too involved, they just picked him from the streets and offered him something to do. Chan was a sweet boy, well-mannered and always smiley. All of this is gone. It has been swept by all the anger Jeonghan sees in his eyes.

"You don't know shit about what happened when he was fucking you, do you?"

The words hurt. He closes his eyes and he's back in the building. He lets Minghao for dead behind him and starts running again. Always letting people behind him. He opens a door, he hears Jisoo yelling. It's dark in this room. The only light is the growing fire that comes from another door. Jisoo turns to him with a startle, he's ready to shoot him with the gun he's holding. There is blood all over his face, all over his clothes, orange shadows licking his skin. There is terror in his eyes, reflected by the dancing flames. He'd never seen fear in Jisoo's eyes before, for the four years he'd been next to him, _with_ him. He'd never seen any kind of weakness in Jisoo's eyes. The only times he'd shown vulnerability were for _him_ and him only. Under sheets, behind a wall, on the backseat of his luxurious car covered in leather with a heady smell. But never this kind of terror.

Another hit, in the stomach this time. Jeonghan looks up and chuckles. That's all he can do.

"You became much stronger Chan."

The disgust in the younger one is immediate. He slaps him so strong that for a second Jeonghan doesn't see anything but white stars. It's the throat that Chan decides to hold now. He tightens just enough for it to hurt, but allows Jeonghan to breathe although hardly.

"I wouldn't laugh if I were you Jeonghan." His voice has nothing to do with the clear and heartful laugh he had before. He recognizes this tone. It's the same that Seungcheol had. Full of hate, full of convictions and goals clear. Seungcheol.

The blaze is growing so fast. Jisoo seems about to talk when Jeonghan notices a move in the shadow. Soonyoung, seated against a wall, is holding his sides, blood flowing on his fingers. There is someone on the floor next to him. The same dark red puddle than Seokmin. He immediately recognizes who it is. The clothes, the hair. Seungkwan. Seungkwan who never did anything bad in his whole life. Seungkwan who is nothing but an empty body now. A burst of voice makes Jeonghan looks up at Jisoo again. There he sees him. Just a step out of the fire. A gun held right at Jisoo. And hate, so much hate in these burning eyes. He knows this hate by heart. Jeonghan walks to Jisoo, catches his hand. It's shaking. Jisoo is scared. Jeonghan is unarmed, helpless. He squeezes Jisoo's fingers before letting go of them and takes a step to the man of the fire. "Seungcheol, please." And then, then Seungcheol turns his gun from Jisoo to Jeonghan. There is still hate in his eyes.

"You never tried to know, right?" There is madness trying to show up in Chan's eyes. The same madness Jeonghan was there to hold back for Seungcheol. He guesses there hasn't been anyone to do it for Chan.

"Know what, Chan?" The rage has already ran away. He just feels pitiful and so, so stupid.

"Don't … Don't pronounce my name. I forbid you." He closes his eyes, takes a step back. The room is small, he's already leaning on the wall. Chan lifts a hand to his bangs, runs it through them before sighing. "Know what your boss did."

_Your boss._

He hates how much easier than he thought it had been to get used to his new life. To forget how much he used to hate all of them, to forget he dedicated his life in trying to take them down. But Jisoo was Jisoo. Bewitching and appealing. Eyes sweet, voice enchanting and hands nimble. The adrenaline that ran through Jeonghan's whole body when he pushed him on his bed for the first time, this was something he thought he'd never feel. This primal instinct yelling, begging to run away, and this demon inside of him imploring for Jisoo's hands to touch him. Jeonghan shut his primal instinct and let the demon take possession of his body. And Jisoo touched him. Jisoo convinced him maybe it was a worthy sacrifice. Maybe he could deal with it, for the sake of his friends life. And Jisoo touched him, he touched him so much Jeonghan became eager of it each day that passed and forgot he was supposed to hate all of this. He forgot his friends. At least that's what he thought.

"Jihoon." Chan breaks his thoughts in shards. He didn't forget them. He just pushed them in a corner of his mind to make things easier. "You remember Jihoon, right?" A sweat drop rolls from his neck. Jihoon, sweet Jihoon. He didn't want to be a part of all of this. "He's the first one he killed." The sweat drop is followed by another one. "Gas. In his apartment." His throat gets clogged. He knows it is Mingyu who did that. "He died slowly. He suffered. A lot." Jeonghan can feel the tears climbing to his eyes. "He didn't deserve that, right?" Jeonghan shakes his head, chasing the tears away.

He startles when Chan starts to yell, his hands gripping Jeonghan's shoulders. "Then why did he kill him?! Tell me Jeonghan, tell me! Why did your fucking boss kill Jihoon?!"

Chan's nails are slowly piercing Jeonghan's skin under his shirt. He clenches the jaw. He didn't know, Chan is right. Chan lets go of him, turns his back to lean his forehead against the door.

"Wonwoo disappeared. Two years ago. We've never found his body. He wouldn't leave like that." It's a whisper. Jeonghan knows how close Chan and Wonwoo were. Wonwoo, always so quiet, who wouldn't sleep for days before his job was perfectly done. "I just keep hoping he didn't suffer as much as Jihoon and Junhui, but hope is a dead word now."

Junhui. Jeonghan feels the shivers down his spine. When Chan turns to him again, the madness took place with no regards for sanity in his eyes. There is a smirk, hanging from his lips. He bends down, hands on his knees, hot breath brushing Jeonghan's skin.

"Of course he didn't spare Junhui. He is way too good, too big of a threat." Jeonghan swallows his saliva. Junhui was their joker. "But your bitch couldn't even do a nice job. He left him for dead in an alley, legs destroyed and skull smashed. But he wasn't dead, oh no he wasn't dead." Jeonghan has to close his eyes. He can't imagine it. Not Junhui. Not Minghao beating Junhui to death. Because of course it was Minghao. "It was one year and a half ago. He's just learning how to talk again." He always knew Minghao was the worst of them all. "He'll never walk again, Jeonghan. Junhui, Wen Junhui will never walk again." He still sees him dance at the end of meetings, when he was satisfied of their decisions, of their advancement. He loved dancing so much. A tear rolls down Jeonghan's cheek.

Chan catches his chin, crashes his cheeks between his fingers. "I forbid you to cry. Don't you dare cry for us Yoon Jeonghan." He brutally lets go of him and starts walking around the chair he's tied at.

"But your bitch has been dumb enough to think we'd had enough of it. We disappeared, Hansol, Seungcheol, me and what was left of Jun. We hid for months. Hansol trained. Even him, you know what that means? Even Hansol wanted you dead." Hansol was like Jihoon. Couldn't hurt anyone, never. "That's maybe the only thing I'm thankful for. The only thing you did that helped us. Keeping your bitch busy for us to prepare."

He hate to hear this word from Chan's mouth. Doesn't want to hear it. But he has no right to tell anything. If there is a bitch in this story, it's him. Jisoo is a murderer, a monster, even, but not a bitch. And Jeonghan fell for the monster. Because with him, it was nothing like that. Jisoo would kiss him before starting a day, he would hold his hand under tables during meetings. He would touch him like he was so precious he could break. And Jeonghan fell, so low, for this. He fell for the smiles Jisoo gave to no one but him, he fell for the prayers under sheets, he fell for the way Jisoo looked at him. He fell in love with the monster.

Jeonghan closes his eyes as Chan walks behind him.

"I did it to protect you. All of you." The weakness is there again. The pathetic tremors running along his throat. He hears Chan chuckling behind.

"Well done then." He comes in front of Jeonghan again and bends down. Sticks their eyes together, smiles. "Let me tell you about Seungcheol now." His heart misses a beat. Not Seungcheol. He can't hear about him. "When you threw yourself in the wolf's mouth, you have no idea how much he cried. I'd never seen him crying before, and when he did I swear to God I hoped I didn't. He was devastated to lose you." This is already too much. "But you know what he told us? _Let's make this mission a success, for Jeonghan_. Here's what he told us. And what did you do ? You gave yourself to this wolf. You granted him access so that he could dig his fangs in your throat."

"But it's not-"

"Shut up. I'm not done yet." Chan covers his mouth with a hand, his gaze hardens. "When one of your guys came out that night, hands in the air, and told us to go home or else it would be over for us, I couldn't believe what I heard. You never came out. Back to the hideout, Seungcheol thought you were dead for nothing. He mourned a traitor, Jeonghan." He can't imagine Seungcheol's eyes. His face, the way his hands must have shaken. His hands would only shake when he was sad. For a sniper, it was intolerable to have your hands shaking. Jeonghan was always there to hold them, appease them. "I've never been more scared for my life than the day Hansol came home with proofs you were alive. Pictures of you, on the backseat of his fucking car, his hands under your shirt, his mouth on yours. Seungcheol basically broke everything there was to break around him. He always told me you were the one keeping him from getting crazy. This day, it has been unleashed and no one has ever been there to put it back inside."

He can't recall how he met Seungcheol. This is something that has always upset Jeonghan. Not being able to get a memory of the day his path crossed Seungcheol's one. His life changed when it did, for sure. He discovered a brand new world in a life that hadn't had any sense for him in a long time. He fell in love, too. Such a weird mix, crime and love. But he liked it. He was in love, he could give his life for him. And he did, even if it failed. Because he couldn't imagine Seungcheol dying, he couldn't imagine Seungcheol not be Seungcheol anymore. He couldn't imagine a world without Seungcheol, even if he himself wasn't there to live in it anymore. When Jisoo kissed him, the day everything changed, the first thought he had was _I can't do that to him_. But yes, yes he could. He _had_ to. He had to do this to protect Seungcheol, to keep his self-promise safe. To keep Seungcheol safe. But he failed. As for everything else in his life, he miserably failed, made him suffer and failed, failed, failed.

Once again.

Jeonghan closes his eyes. He wants to go back to the fire, he wants to know what happened. Seungcheol is there, pointing his gun at him. He hears Jisoo loading his, behind his back. He can't. He can't choose. It's impossible. He can't make a choice. He looks back at Jisoo, pointing his gun at Seungcheol, not looking at him. He sees the Jisoo from the first time they met. He sees the Jisoo he hated so much. He sees everything he put apart during these years. He sees Hong Jisoo, the real, the one from the outside world. And then Jisoo looks at him and everything falls apart. He loves him. He loves a criminal, he loves a murderer. He loves Jisoo. He turns the head to Seungcheol. There is nothing left but hate, on the other side of this gun. But he loved him. He loved Seungcheol. This man who tried to do justice by himself. This man who pulled him out of the dark. Their eyes meet. There is something, far away in Seungcheol's eyes. Other than hate. Pain? Of course pain. Seungcheol slightly turns to his left, switches the direction his gun is pointing at. Jeonghan closes his eyes. He smells everything burning around, he smells blood, he smells doubts.

And then he hears it. A shot. One unique shot. And nothing more.

When he opens his eyes, Chan is staring at him, smiling brightly.

"You remember, right?"

Jeonghan shakes his head. It hurts, it hurts so much. Why can't he open his eyes in the burning room again ? Why can't he see ? Maybe because he doesn't want to see. Maybe because he doesn't want to feel. All the pain invading his body. He opens his eyes, feels the tears burning their edges. Chan is still smiling.

"What happened Chan?"

Chan laughs. This is the same sound than when he was still an innocent kid. He looks like that, too. The kid that was so happy to have a purpose, that brightened everything around him wherever he was. The kid that clung to him the day he ran to the wolf's mouth, begging him to stay. Suddenly, Jeonghan's hands are free. There's no blood on them anymore. He hides his face in them, lets the tears freely run. Chan keeps laughing, clear, melodious.

"Why do you think we're here Jeonghan?"

He feels the pain. But it's not the one he thought he would feel. He hears Jisoo screaming, far, far away. It burns, all inside his body, it burns everywhere. Still so far away, he hears someone falling on their knees, he senses hands on his face. Jisoo. He's tired, so tired. It seems like Jisoo's voice got closer, but he still can't hear clearly. Everything is blurred, muffled. The fire is growing, it's hot next to him. There are steps, getting away. Something wet on his face. Is Jisoo crying ? Jisoo never cried before. One of his hand is caressing his hair, the other one still on his face. He keeps crying, Jeonghan would like to tell him not to. He's way more beautiful when he smiles. He loves when Jisoo smiles. He's tired, so tired. Oh. Now Jisoo's voice is clearer. Whispers. "Don't die Jeonghan, I beg you, don't die. I love you."

He loves Jisoo too. He tries to say it. And then everything is dark.

**Author's Note:**

> sooo, i hope you enjoyed it ! (despite everything that happens, haha …)  
> as usual, tell me what you thought of it, and Don't forget to leave a kudo !  
> take care ♡


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